All day long I’ve been really quite good at being late.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that I’m normally one to be early but I am definitely not the late person that walks into class five minutes after lecture has started. Today, however, for all of my classes and yoga, I was that girl.
And it all started with a morning of silence. A morning with shattered bits of spider-webed glass caking the inside of my car like a layer of heavy flour. Only it looked more like a blanket of diamonds on the ground where my passenger-door window once stood.
A car break in. It was my first and it was enough for me to give up on humanity for the day. I mean, knowing how powerless you are in the wake of another’s determination is disheartening and scary. What’s stopping someone from smashing through the sliding glass door right now and swiping my laptop right out from under me?
It’s probably how incredibly large and intimidating I am.
Yup, I think that’s it.
This calls for hugs and comfort food. For me, all I wanted was that one giant spoon amongst all the regular sized spoons and a jar of peanut butter.
In this case, I was lucky enough to have a jar of homemade sunflower seed buttah! And a ladle.
And I guess when talking about how powerful determination can be, we can spin that as good: when you put your mind to something, what is there really to hold it back but a flimsy glass door of expectation and hypothetical limitations?
You are set free!
Cinnamon vanilla sunflower seed butter
adapted from 101 Cookbooks
yield ~1.5 cups
Toast 2 cups of raw sunflower seeds on a foil-lined cookie sheet in an oven, preheated to 325F until golden and fragrant. Stir a couple times to ensure even roasting. Let cool for a couple minutes.
Pulse seeds in a food processor with 1 tablespoon of canola oil and 1/2 teaspoon sea salt. Keep the motor running and drizzle in another 2 tablespoons of oil. Scrape down the sides as needed to keep the consistency nice and evenly creamy – this will take several minutes and several scrape-downs of the bowl. Again, drizzle in the 1 tablespoon of oil. Once the mixture is to your liking, add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, 3 teaspoons of ground cinnamon, and the zest from half a lemon. Pulse to incorporate. Store in an airtight jar in a cool dry place for up to a month.
Enjoy, especially spread onto just toasted bread and topped with fresh figs and honey!
Or slather on toast and pair with a handy half-gallon of soy milk, apple slices, and carrot sticks for a snack of champions!